The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me.  The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.  ~George Bernard Shaw

 This quote that I used in our most recent weekly focus not only sparked a thought but struck a chord within me.  What it reveals is actually something that I believe has reached epidemic proportions.  I believe that when something comes into your life as a whisper or even possibly a silent scream that we began to see things or notice what is around in a different, clearer way. 

I want to start out in a simple, hopefully humorous way to demonstrate my point.  Have you ever noticed that when you go home for a holiday or some other important occasion that your great Aunt Betty still pinches your cheeks and tells you as they ask for a show of hands as to who wants what to drink that you shouldn’t have Tea because it makes you hyper.  Regardless of how old you are even at this very moment, Aunt Betty sees you as the 10 year old child unable to sit still at Grandma’s house during a special meal. 

To give you another funny story, when my children visit their Nana inevitably she has a present for them because she wants them to remember a visit to her house with excitement and anticipation.  My daughter who is 13 still receives Dora the Explorer coloring books and clothing for a much younger child but doesn’t understand how her Nana can’t see that she has changed right in front of her. 

Now this example might make you say well that is just because it’s family, that’s the only place someone doesn’t realize or accept that you are quite different than you were a few years ago.  The rub here is that it actually happens more often than you admit.

The same thing happens often when someone we know decides to make a change.  It could be in the career path they have been on for years, by going back to school or writing a novel ie something they have only dreamed of doing for a lifetime.  The person comes to us enthusiastic about their decision, actually waiting for encouragement, a partner of sorts in this new endeavor.  We begin with an incredulous what? …as if surprised.  We may say, why would you want to do that or give reasons that they have it good now, why change a great thing.   

Even when they begin acting differently or ask that we validate their new path, we can’t quite seem to do so.  We may pull away or continue to treat them and expect them to be the same person they have always been.  The person we have to expect and feel most comfortable with.  I think the reason we put on our blinders is that the person experiencing transformation shines a bright light from within that actually shows ways that we need to change or beliefs that are currently working for us.  The blinders allow us to ignore what is right in front of our face and continue to hold onto the familiar relationship with have with our newly changed friend or family member. 

I suggest that we each remove our blinders and take a moment to notice the transformed individual’s journey maybe even struggle, their newfound impact and how we can partner with them to take the steps down our personal path toward healthy changes and a life well-lived.